10 Things Nobody Told Me About Being A Mom

10. "Happy Hour" is now from 2-4pm and involves half price slushes, cherry limeades and girls on roller skates but, never alcohol.

9. 90% of the time you will miss the new Happy Hour because of napping children.


8. Before a Girls Night Out, you will forget to remove the following items from your diaper bag purse: diapers, wipes, Matchbox cars, Barbies, Goldfish, a burp cloth and countless crumbs.

7. For approximately the next 18 years +, Girls Night Out will now be referred to as Moms Night Out.

6. You will talk about poop to your non-baby friends... and they will swear they will never do {that} when they are parents.

5. As a matter of fact, everything you said you would never do when you were a parent, you will probably do at some point. Trust me. "Because, I said so."

4. The terrible "twos" is the biggest, fattest, ugliest lie ever told. Don't fall for it.

3. If you hold a freshly fed baby over your head to play they will hurl immeasurable volumes of nastiness in your face. Don't test this, just believe me.

2. You will never, ever, do anything more important in your life than loving and mothering that tiny little person you created.

1. And nothing will ever be more rewarding.