Lost in the shuffle... that's what my three year old is. Evan has three older brothers. Two are in first grade, one is in preschool, all three play soccer and one also plays t-ball. His mom is a yoga teacher, a classroom volunteer (x2), a PTA (parent teacher association) chair, a blogger (although not a very frequent one these days), and has a never ending supply of dirty laundry to do! Evan's dad works 50+ hours a week, coaches t-ball, and provides a lot of the end of day routine (homework, bath, and bedtime) after he works all day because Evan's mom is teaching yoga at night. Evan is lost in the shuffle and along for the ride!
Luckily, Evan is also happy-go-lucky and mostly laid back. He doesn't mind sitting in carpool (for about 2 hours out of every single day between the 2 schools). He doesn't mind playing on the sidelines at soccer in 40 degree weather with 15 mph winds or tossing a baseball with Mom during t-ball practice. He doesn't mind who tucks him in bed at night or dries him off after his bath. He doesn't mind getting that extra five minutes of snuggle time in Mommy's lap even though she's folding clothes around him. He doesn't mind quietly coloring at the table while his older brothers do homework. And he surely doesn't mind spending time with Grandma while Mommy is volunteering at the schools. In fact, he seems to love most of things (maybe not carpool) and is happy anytime he is "hanging" with his big brothers!
But Mommy minds. Mommy minds that she isn't always home to kiss him goodnight or snuggle him fresh out of the bath. Mommy minds that most of his naps are in a car during carpool. Mommy minds that his cheeks are rosy from the cold and his fingers are icy cold while he plays on the sidelines at soccer. Mommy minds that she's thinking about the pile of laundry to fold when he's in her lap. Mommy minds that they miss a lot of library storytimes, playdates with "his" friends, and other fun things she did with his older brothers. Mommy minds all of that!
Sometimes I wonder if we're getting it right with him. His early childhood has been so very different than his older brothers. I wonder if this is going to effect his personality. I wonder a lot of things but mostly I wish we had an open schedule that could be filled with playdates, library storytimes, fun lunch dates with Daddy and uninterrupted naps. Don't get me wrong, the child isn't neglected; we read plenty of books just not at storytime, he plays outside every single day and he gets a lot of snuggles that don't involve thoughts of laundry but it's just So. Very. Different. than age three was for his brothers. I feel like he's getting ripped off but the almost constant smile on his face give me hope that we're doing OK.
You would think by the fourth kid we'd have this parenting things down to an art! We already did this age three other times, except we didn't. We didn't have "mix-aged" siblings going in 20 different directions. And just when you think you know what you're doing, the parenting game changes. Ain't that some sh....
How do you juggle your older children's activities while making sure your younger children get the attention, love, and fun experiences that your older children got at that age?
How do you juggle your older children's activities while making sure your younger children get the attention, love, and fun experiences that your older children got at that age?
1 comments:
This is something I think about regularly! Not just with Lennon...but with all the boys. More often than not, I feel like I'm pulled in so many other directions that don't include them that I suffer tremendous guilt that they feel like their Mom is never there...not in a physical sense, but just being present.
One of the ways that we really try to get that quality time in, is by taking time to go somewhere with just one kid, one on one. Maybe it's the grocery store, or just a quick trip to the gas station, but we try to just spend time with each of them individually.
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